I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, or my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly knickknack frog that I didn’t need, but looks so modern Avante Garde on my dresser. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or research on the computer until 3 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50’s & 60′s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ….. I will.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. That proves some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs and frowns be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. Aging makes it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself as much anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.
To answer your question about what I think about becoming old, I will tell you that I like many qualities of aging. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. Nothing and no one is perfect. The past is over. It cannot be changed. And I will eat dessert before dinner, every single day (If I feel like it).